Part- 1.

“Non-conformity is a word that you can’t either look up in the dictionary or search the web because it is a feeling”.

Just follow me along this journey of self discovery and some nice lessons for your day.Maybe this is the piece you might be in need of.

This feeling actually describes a person who is always considered very different in the society. Not just looks different but these people have a range of choices, opinions, and their thoughts are very different than others. I think the word ‘different’ is not very vast to portray the meaning of non-conformity. By reading the above few lines you might feel like you are one of them, right?

Actually you are wrong! Because if you weren’t wrong, you would have disagreed with me on its poor definition that I managed to write.

Non conformity is a feeling that’s not determined by choice to attain the lime light, it’s something you are born with. No matter how much you disagree with this point and you might be ready to prove me wrong by quoting examples of how same people are different in a unique way.

I know that a group of people if observed under same living conditions and same circumstances, they will have differences but mostly similarities. They will agree to others at one point or the other.

Let me make it simple, if we consider an example of a country where people mostly will end up on same opinions no matter how many small individual differences they have, because they are influenced by the same culture as a collective body. If a country’s most consumed beverage is Tea then you will most likely find every other person having tea on daily places. I know some would still disagree but I am talking about the similarity of decisions in the long term.

Suppose a country has a set climate that’s mostly hot all year round and I ask people about their favorite season or their relaxing weather. So, what answer would I most likely get? Guess what?

I have already asked that and most people answered me that winter is their favorite as it is short lived and enjoyable. Some said that they feel more comfortable in winter during daily active routines while others told me that they were sick of having summer season for most of the year and they can’t tolerate the ‘heat’ now.

These are the common answers of so many individuals I personally asked, I noticed a pattern of similarity that was instilled in the people of the same location and time.

But some of the answers I got were a little against those traditional ones. Here’s the second case; Some told me they like the summer even though it reaches 42-49 degrees and even more. “Why?” even though I knew their answer but still asked them to report their insights.

“I like being challenged and the summer heat forces me to move my lazy couch potato body” said one of them.

Another person told me that summer heat makes him realize that “life is not a bed of roses” and the comfort zone (winter) is not a place to grow.

Note: These answers are based on people living in a hot-climate

Okay, did you found these answers interesting or a bit different? Maybe not or maybe you have noticed them as bit ‘different’ than previous ones.

These people are actually non-conformists. They not only like to challenge the status quo but these are the ones who do. They don’t conform to every other point, in fact they hardly conform to typical norms.

People may find them little strange, weird or out-of-way thinking humans. Some also find them interesting and attractive. You will disagree that people can fake and its some type of emotional intelligence as I already came across these kinds of comments.

But the reason is these people are normal like you and they are not afraid to voice their opinions and speak up for their rights. I know most of do that, so what the big deal is?

The point of difference is their non-conventional ideas and non-traditional ways.

I am one of them also and believe me, we face so much oppression. We have to face ‘the looks’ for our ideas that other people see as merely possible or very different. When people feel like being hit by a brick with our stern reply, they just throw over us with all their oppression. 

People shut me up at the moment and start to tease me with their most used comment… “You always think different, that’s why no-one agrees to you.” .

That’s only for once. Whenever we change our house, I ask to paint my room grey and cupboards black because I have a strong obsession with the color black. They always tell me to have pink instead because pink or purple is for girls.

“But…mom, colors are independent of the gender labeling, how cruel is that we label the colors of life as famine or masculine”.

Then my mom shut me up by saying that South Asian houses are mostly white and of light colors and we people are not like that what you think… etc.

 I always get answers like “we don’t get what you say”

And comments like “where is your brain…are you living in any other world” etc.

Another point of my life is where; I am scolded for having too much coffee powder in my coffee. My family argues for having more sugar and less coffee. And can you believe that they say it’s too bitter after tasting mine. Why don’t they understand that coffee is not their sugar-caramel syrup?

Lately I am being targeted by people around me for having a wish to eat garlic-flavored ice-cream. I am always put down with the excuse that Pakistani people use it in cooking and you want it in your tea and ice-cream.

Last but not the least;  When I started to subtitle the talks given from my favorite website (TED.com)   into Urdu. Many people around me put hurdles in my way instead of supporting because I was voluntarily doing that! And most people believe that money is everything. My friends also quoted that they would never do such hard work for free…

I gave up randomly reaching out to people, I gave up being extra kind and sweet because probably the world couldn’t digest that. I gave up saying Hi to every stranger I ‘d meet.  I was about to give up all of my personality but something changed everything…….

 -For how i managed to cope with all that and some lessons I learnt along the way….

See  part 2 here .

Thanks for stopping by. Cheers 🙂

 

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